Pseudo Kramer’s Blog: Celebrities make my day!!

FM : CHAIRMAN

TO : MARKETING DIRECTOR

Met Ms Moneybags Kapur last evening at the gala. She looks very good. We should take her on as our brand ambassador for the new launch. She’ll get in touch with you about this.

FM : MARKETING DIRECTOR

TO : AGENCY VP

We have to use Moneybags for the new campaign. Please incorporate.

FM : AGENCY VP

TO : CREATIVE DIRECTOR, PLANNING DIRECTOR, ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

Please see email from client. Self explanatory. Kindly ensure.

FM : CREATIVE DIRECTOR

TO :AGENCY VP, PLANNING DIRECTOR, ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

WTF. 

FM : PLANNING DIRECTOR

TO : AGENCY VP, CREATIVE DIRECTOR, ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

We should go back to the client with our rationale. As you know the new brand is all about elegant, sophisticated, mature, old world. Moneybags is young, vivacious and looks flaky. There’s a fundamental mis-match. All the work we’ve done for the last 9 months can get negated by this move. I will put together a deck in the next 24 hours to go back.

FM : ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

TO : AGENCY VP, CREATIVE DIRECTOR, PLANNING DIRECTOR

Good idea. But I want to highlight that we are supposed to go into production week after next, so whatever we do needs to fit in this time line. Also do we know the budget impact of this?

FM : CREATIVE DIRECTOR

TO : AGENCY VP, PLANNING DIRECTOR, ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

WTF

FM : ACCCOUNT DIRECTOR

TO : AGENCY VP

I just got a bill from Moneybags’ agent for 75L. What am I supposed to do with it?

FM : ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

TO : AGENCY VP

Moneybags’ agent called to say she is only free on these dates. Sept 19, 11 am to 1.30 pm, Sept 21, 3.30 pm to 6 pm and Sept 25, 8 pm to 11 pm. All in Melbourne. She wants the shoot to be done on these dates.

FM : MARKETING DIRECTOR

TO : AGENCY VP

How are we doing on the new campaign? It’s been a week since we discussed it last. We need to speed up the process. BTW let me know the shoot dates. I would like to be there. Moneybags is in touch with the chairman so want to ensure no hiccoughs.

FM : CHAIRMAN

TO : MARKETING DIRECTOR

Got a message from Moneybags. Says she’s not got her advance payment yet. Please ensure. Also when do you think the campaign will be ready?Am meeting her on weekend again, so need an update.

FM : MARKETING DIRECTOR

TO : AGENCY VP

See email from chairman. The old man is in a hurry. Please fix.

FM : AGENCY VP

TO : MARKETING DIRECTOR

I suppose there’s no point discussing brand positioning, costs etc now? It’s just a case of use Moneybags in best way possible?

FM : MARKETING DIRECTOR

TO : AGENCY VP

Yep. Also spoke to her a shortwhile ago and she’s agreed to come for our sales conference, which we now need to do in a big hotel, which has got everyone super excited. So now it’s up to you guys.

FM : AGENCY VP

TO : CREATIVE DIRECTOR, PLANNING DIRECTOR, ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

Moneybags is non negotiable. Let’s do what we can.

FM : ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

TO : CREATIVE DIRECTOR, PLANNING DIRECTOR, AGENCY VP

Update : We cannot take the product to Melbourne for the shoot as Australia is very tough about taking in food products. So we may need to shoot just her and CGI the product in later.

FM : CREATIVE DIRECTOR

TO : ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

WTF

2 weeks later.

FM : CHAIRMAN

TO : MARKETING DIRECTOR

Saw the new ads. Moneybags is happy too. Congratulations.

FM : MARKETING DIRECTOR

TO : AGENCY VP

See mail from chairman. He sounds happy.

PS : Attached see my pic with Moneybags behind the scenes of the launch event!! Don’t tell my wife ;-)

As Kramer has in 'Seinfeld', Pseudo Kramer has a unique perspective on the goings-on in the world, this time of advertising and marketing.