Opinion: Piyush Pandey sold to McCann for Rs. 59 crore!

Now wouldn’t that be a headline? Not that it would ever happen. And Piyush wouldn’t be that inexpensive. But what if it could?

What if creatives are auctioned every year with agencies bidding for them? Just like in the IPL.?
Humour me. Think of the possibilities.

Every agency could retain their stars. (I believe Piyush would retain himself). And then put up the rest for auction.

I am a creative. I would love to know how much an agency would bid for me. Ah well, yes, it’s an ego thing. But show me a creative who doesn’t have an ego and I will show you a planner.
Hell, I would love to know how much my boss is worth. Or whether he will be picked up at all!
Now, that’s a thought.

Anyway, as I was saying, what if?

Every agency could dress in their Sunday…er…pitch finest, hold up a paddle and invest in creative talent. It would be interesting to see how much an ego can bloat before bursting. Hey, this has a science angle to it as well. Also think about the experience of watching a few well-deserved egos deflate.

Agencies also get the chance to let go off the surplus resources — and that’s putting it mildly.
We all have someone or the other who isn’t needed/not good enough/ or fast becoming a part of the wallpaper for the agency. So instead of having the unpleasant task of firing them, put them up for the auction.

Better yet, lets adopt the English Premier League model. Two transfer windows, where agencies ‘sell’ creatives, thereby getting returns for investments. Yes, investments. While we creatives can think that we are the Gods of the agency, the agency spends a lot in providing opportunities, training, etc. and contribute to our own growth. The work in our respective folios are agency work. Done on agency accounts. During agency hours, which is anytime between 11am and 3am. Which also consists of all those free cups of your agency’s machine-made coffee. The free AC during the oppressively hot summer days. The free pizzas which you force your servicing girl to get. Even the printouts of your resume which you will circulate in the agency in the floor above. Yes, all these things we take for granted. Those are investments. So instead of us upping and leaving for a better offer, which profits only our bank balances, its only fair that the agency gets something in return for their investment. So, they get to sell us. Hopefully at a profit. That’s my ego talking by the way.

In the same transfer window, the agency gets to go after other creatives who could fulfill their current need. The management’s need for clichйs get fulfilled here — fresh blood, young and experienced, enthusiastic, etc. The industry mags and websites get enough material of people movements to fill up quite a few journalistic nights.

It could just spice up the current job opportunities scene. It could also provide an end to people leaving soon after increments. And hell, everyone would know who is worth what.

Hey, we can also host the auction during the Goafest. Better yet, we could even think of a completely new venue. Atleast we will have one more reason to get drunk on the beach and pretend to be at a very important do.

And to take a leaf out Lalit Modi’s now missing playbook, we can get brands to sponsor sections of the auction. Or maybe even the head honchos of different agencies walking into the venue to their own theme music —Piyush Pandey can walk in to the glass shattering theme music of stone cold Steve Austin or Prasoon Joshi can walk in to...ummm….whatever song he has written.

And before I get carried away by men in white coats, who I think you should have called by now, I shall leave you with this parting thought.

So, how much do you think you are worth? Better yet, how much do you think your boss is worth?