T.O.M. Tweets

Ok, traffic police, what does this light mean? pic.twitter.com/32oupWQygX

— Madhu Menon (@madmanweb) February 16, 2018

pic.twitter.com/FEfOwNzwXo

— SunilAgarwal (@SunilAgarwal) February 16, 2018

The world owes you nothing, EARN IT.#MorningThoughts pic.twitter.com/KkNJl6Smid

— ashish sehgal (@sehgalashish1) February 16, 2018

My MBA demanded a 90% attendance and had only mediocre teachers. My graduation demanded 75% attendance and had more mediocre teachers.
Compulsory attendance is just a weapon in the hands of mediocre teachers and their administrators. If the teacher is good, students will attend.

— Vivek (@kaul_vivek) February 14, 2018

The police just pulled me over, he came up to my window and said, “Papers?”

I said, “Scissors, I win!” and drove off.

I think he wants a re-match he's been chasing me for 45 minutes.

— Mr. Drinks On Me (@Mr_DrinksOnMe) February 13, 2018

I deleted a tweet because it was brought to my attention a similar joke was made when I was like 6. I apologize for not deeply researching every joke I make and will dedicate all of my time to finding every video and audio clip ever recorded to make sure it never happens again.

— Sarcasticsapien (@Sarcasticsapien) February 11, 2018

My Valentine’s Day message to all the juniors:
Unless your name is Valentine, today is not a holiday for you. Kindly come to work. With ideas. Great ideas.#workinggirl

— kainaz karmakar (@spalifekainaz) February 14, 2018

Looking at the number of bank employees being exposed...

Banks need to focus first on KYE (Know Your Employees)...

instead of KYC (Know Your Customers)..!!

— Animesh Bhatt (@AnimeshBhatt) February 16, 2018

Watching passengers get up and reach for their bags as soon as the flight lands reminds me of a British airways pilot’s announcement - “pls remain seated till we come to a complete halt as in my twenty years of flying, I haven’t seen a passenger beat the aircraft to the gate”

— Abhay Pandey (@Abhay__Pandey) February 14, 2018